When I was working with the person who taught me EFT, it worked great. Now that I am working on my own, I don’t know what phrases to use. Do you have any suggestions?
This is a very common question. It is important to remember the words are not magical. They are used to help us pull what ever we are working on into the thought field. Often clients get worked up because they are feel like they are going to use the wrong words.
Remember there is no penalty for getting it “wrong”. The worst outcome with EFT is wasting 90 seconds of your life. Be easy about the words. Trust your intuition. What is import is your focus on the problem, not the words.
Over the next few weeks, I will address this with a number of suggestions on what to do when you can’t think of what to say.
Here is my first...
One of my EFT phone clients "Christi" was having a very hard time getting out of bed in the morning to go to the gym. We had been doing a lot of work about all the "penalties" for going to gym: Everyone will see she is so out of shape ... She doesn’t like the way she looks in exercise clothing ... She is so out of shape it is hopeless ... She will fail again. We were making great progress around these issues, but it was still a great struggle for her to get out of bed in the morning.
I had read an article from the “EFT Insights Newsletter” on Future Tapping for dealing with things we fear for the future and thought it might help for statement of things we would like to see happen. The thought being if we make statements about what we would like to have happen, all of the issues that prevent this from happening will arise, even if we don't name them or even know what they are (much like the Hero Technique).
So I had Christi rate how the truth of the statement, "I am going to jump out of bed tomorrow morning, energetically, and ready to go to the gym." She rated this as a 4 on a scale of 0 to 10. So we tapped...
I am going to climb in to bed and be relaxed.
My body is going to peacefully and naturally drift to sleep.
I am going to get a good night sleep.
The sleep will be restful.
I will wake up energized and ready for the day.
I am going to be ready to go to the gym.
I am going have a great work out.
I have going to be happy with my progress.
I am going to leave the gym full of energy for the rest of the day.
We then tested the truth of the statement, "I am going to jump out of bed tomorrow morning, energetically, and ready to go to the gym." It was now and 8 out of 10. I then asked what part of the statement didn't feel true. We were then able to deal with whatever residual issues were left (which I can't remember right now).
Christi has reported back that this a great tool and it has made it easier to get up in the morning to go to the gym. So much so, she now uses the technique to set up her whole day.
I have found this is a great technique for EFT beginners to use by themselves. Many of my clients don't feel like they know what they are supposed to say or what to focus in on when they are doing tapping on their own. This protocol is easy for them to use because all they need to do is state exactly what they want. The protocol is very simple:
1. State what you would like to see happen in the future. (e.g. I am going to spring out of bed tomorrow. I am going to be calm when I confront my boss. I am going to be at peace when I visit my mother in the hospital.)
2. Rate how true you think the statement is.
3. Keep tapping and state how everything is going to unfold in a prefect world.
4. Re-rate the original statement. If it is not fully true. Repeat the process.
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August 6, 2007
August 1, 2007
Making It Routine
I love EFT, but find it hard to remember to use EFT. Do you have any suggestions to help me remember to us EFT regularly?
It is very funny. When friends, family and clients are sharing with me something that has happened in the past week, I almost always ask, "Did you tap in it?" Inevitably they respond, "I always forget."
Initially, in my practice, I found that very few clients where doing the homework we had agreed upon. As I started to investigate this, generally the response was as simple as, "I forgot." In response to this, I started to not only give homework, but give the time they should be doing the home work (e.g. sitting in the car before walking in to work, right before bed, while taking a morning walk).
Basically, with out saying this, we were creating an EFT routine. Here is an example of a routine for one of my clients "Jane".
Jane works for an agency that places and supports children in the foster care system. It is a job that can be emotional at times because of the nature of their clients. It is stressful because they are trying to do so much with limited resources. Because of this Jane was taking quite a bit of anxiousness home from work.
The routine we created was very simple. Each day before she left work she would make a stop in the restroom. She would go into one of the stalls and do EFT for five to ten minutes. She would address any emotions she had at that moment, as well as take a quick review of the day to see if there was anything she needed to clean up. Then, symbolically, she would flush the toilet to show her self that she had gotten rid of all the carp she was carrying around.
We very intentionally chose her work place as the place she was going to do the work. Her concern was that she was bringing the emotion from work home with her. We very easily could have had her waited until she got home before she did the work. There are two problems with this. First, by waiting until she got home she was bringing the emotion home (which is what we were trying to fix). Second, it was very easy to get distracted when she got home. There was the dog to take care of, her husband to greet and spend time with and dinner to fix. It would be very easy to get distracted with all that was happening at home and not get to the EFT work she needed to do.
By having her do the EFT at her work place we were able to take care of both of these problems. First, doing the EFT at work, all of the emotion associated with the job was not leaving work. Second, by making it part of her exit routine from the office there was no way she was going to get distracted from the doing EFT. It simply became one more step to getting out the door, like turning off her computer, packing her back, and turning the voice mail on.
Here are a few things to consider when creating an EFT routine.
1) Do it at the same time everyday.
There are going to be moments when we need to do EFT right now, but for the most part we are able to deal with most things with some time set aside for work. Look at how well we brush our teeth. Every night before we go to bed, the last thing we all do is brush our teeth. I know I don't think why I am doing, it is just part of the routine. It is much easier to do any sort of maintenance for hour health when it is done at a regular time. This is true for brushing our teeth, going to the gym, or doing EFT.
2) Do it in the same place every time.
Now this might be possible, but I have found it is very helpful to have a consistent location. I have a special chair in which I do all of my prayer, meditation, and EFT in. The only thing I use the chair for is these activities. Because I have set space aside for these activities, the moment I start moving towards my body, mind, and spirit know what is coming. I immediately start to feel relaxed because I know what is coming next.
You don't have to have a special place in which the only thing you do there is EFT, but by having a consistent location (in bed, the kitchen table, the porch swing) you more likely to do it.
Also, it is important to pick a place where you are not going to be distracted. In the living room, while the kids are watching TV might not be the best choice.
3) Have a game plan when you sit down.
I have found it helpful to have a plan when I sit down to do EFT. For me it looks something like this. First, I scan my body for any aches and pains and do work on them first. Second, I review my day to see what residual emotions are kicking around. Third, I think about what is happening tomorrow. I see if I am worried about what is to come and then do one round of future tapping. Fourth, I do work on whatever pressing issue there is in my life (e.g. a new job, relationship with someone). This is some area of my life that needs work, but isn't going to happen in just one session. Finally, I do a round of thanksgiving tapping.
This is a routine that might be way more involved than what is right for you, but having a game plan is helpful to make sure you make good use of your time.
Also, this is not set in stone. If I find there is something else I need to do with my time, I can do it, but it is a good starting point.
4) Don't get to ambitious when creating a routine.
When you are creating a routine, start small. The quickest way to stop doing a routine is to fail at doing the routine. If you try and duplicate the routine articulated in point to as a starting point, it is going to be too much. When you are first creating a your routine, make it as simple at just working on your aches and pains while you are laying in bed right before you fall asleep. After you have done this for a week or two, add another component to your routine.
Learn EFT | Submit a question
It is very funny. When friends, family and clients are sharing with me something that has happened in the past week, I almost always ask, "Did you tap in it?" Inevitably they respond, "I always forget."
Initially, in my practice, I found that very few clients where doing the homework we had agreed upon. As I started to investigate this, generally the response was as simple as, "I forgot." In response to this, I started to not only give homework, but give the time they should be doing the home work (e.g. sitting in the car before walking in to work, right before bed, while taking a morning walk).
Basically, with out saying this, we were creating an EFT routine. Here is an example of a routine for one of my clients "Jane".
Jane works for an agency that places and supports children in the foster care system. It is a job that can be emotional at times because of the nature of their clients. It is stressful because they are trying to do so much with limited resources. Because of this Jane was taking quite a bit of anxiousness home from work.
The routine we created was very simple. Each day before she left work she would make a stop in the restroom. She would go into one of the stalls and do EFT for five to ten minutes. She would address any emotions she had at that moment, as well as take a quick review of the day to see if there was anything she needed to clean up. Then, symbolically, she would flush the toilet to show her self that she had gotten rid of all the carp she was carrying around.
We very intentionally chose her work place as the place she was going to do the work. Her concern was that she was bringing the emotion from work home with her. We very easily could have had her waited until she got home before she did the work. There are two problems with this. First, by waiting until she got home she was bringing the emotion home (which is what we were trying to fix). Second, it was very easy to get distracted when she got home. There was the dog to take care of, her husband to greet and spend time with and dinner to fix. It would be very easy to get distracted with all that was happening at home and not get to the EFT work she needed to do.
By having her do the EFT at her work place we were able to take care of both of these problems. First, doing the EFT at work, all of the emotion associated with the job was not leaving work. Second, by making it part of her exit routine from the office there was no way she was going to get distracted from the doing EFT. It simply became one more step to getting out the door, like turning off her computer, packing her back, and turning the voice mail on.
Here are a few things to consider when creating an EFT routine.
1) Do it at the same time everyday.
There are going to be moments when we need to do EFT right now, but for the most part we are able to deal with most things with some time set aside for work. Look at how well we brush our teeth. Every night before we go to bed, the last thing we all do is brush our teeth. I know I don't think why I am doing, it is just part of the routine. It is much easier to do any sort of maintenance for hour health when it is done at a regular time. This is true for brushing our teeth, going to the gym, or doing EFT.
2) Do it in the same place every time.
Now this might be possible, but I have found it is very helpful to have a consistent location. I have a special chair in which I do all of my prayer, meditation, and EFT in. The only thing I use the chair for is these activities. Because I have set space aside for these activities, the moment I start moving towards my body, mind, and spirit know what is coming. I immediately start to feel relaxed because I know what is coming next.
You don't have to have a special place in which the only thing you do there is EFT, but by having a consistent location (in bed, the kitchen table, the porch swing) you more likely to do it.
Also, it is important to pick a place where you are not going to be distracted. In the living room, while the kids are watching TV might not be the best choice.
3) Have a game plan when you sit down.
I have found it helpful to have a plan when I sit down to do EFT. For me it looks something like this. First, I scan my body for any aches and pains and do work on them first. Second, I review my day to see what residual emotions are kicking around. Third, I think about what is happening tomorrow. I see if I am worried about what is to come and then do one round of future tapping. Fourth, I do work on whatever pressing issue there is in my life (e.g. a new job, relationship with someone). This is some area of my life that needs work, but isn't going to happen in just one session. Finally, I do a round of thanksgiving tapping.
This is a routine that might be way more involved than what is right for you, but having a game plan is helpful to make sure you make good use of your time.
Also, this is not set in stone. If I find there is something else I need to do with my time, I can do it, but it is a good starting point.
4) Don't get to ambitious when creating a routine.
When you are creating a routine, start small. The quickest way to stop doing a routine is to fail at doing the routine. If you try and duplicate the routine articulated in point to as a starting point, it is going to be too much. When you are first creating a your routine, make it as simple at just working on your aches and pains while you are laying in bed right before you fall asleep. After you have done this for a week or two, add another component to your routine.
Learn EFT | Submit a question
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